Moved.

E's Monologue

Deep calls unto deep.

"Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; All Your waves and billows have gone over me." — Psalm 42:7

Sometimes when I look into the deep blue skies in the valley of the stars, I will be overwhelmed and I'll just stand in awe. I do think of deeper meanings in life, if there is a profound purpose and meaning. That's when I can feel as if the whole universe is talking, but silent and still.

I am nothing but a speck of dust compared to the whole solar system, milky way, galaxy, universe. But, I do believe that there is something greater — a purpose, a deep profound meaning and future. There are many things that I want to do and I believe that somehow the universe is calling the deep in me. It's as if God is asking if I am willing to trust him and have good faith — that He'll bring out the deepest desires within and fulfill my purpose.

But for now..all I can do is just wait for the moment.

Connecting the dots.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."
— Steve Jobs 

Again and again, reality and my dreams kept coming back; flashing through my mind. I have a dream. I want to keep running towards it. I want to do what I love to do. I want to design, create, innovate and imagine.

Looking back, I am glad and thankful for everything that has happened to me. It has moulded to who I am today and it will be part of me in the future. Uncertainty might put fear in my heart but I hope I have  courage and keep moving forward.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

— Jeremiah 29:11

Everything will be alright.

There's a chinese proverb saying,船到桥头自然直 (When the boat gets to the pier-head, it will go straight with the current; Everything will be alright.) I hope that everything is indeed going to turn out alright. After today's cell group meeting, Jared really made me think back about how I got to where I am today. I guess I was too distracted with all the mindless worries. So I've actually applied for Glasgow school of Arts(GSA) under Singapore Institute of Technology in the month of February. And..the thing is I was accepted and offered a place in GSA.

Although my request for deferring the degree program was rejected (insert sad face here), I'm still glad that I got in!

———

I've never ever thought that I would be accepted into a government university. Where I am today is more than a miracle. Six years ago, my sec 5 life never looked so bleak and uncertain (it's still quite uncertain now but better!). My O Levels scored at 28pts L1R4 and terrible is not even the correct adjective to describe it. Hence, I got into Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts; a private arts institution that is willing to take in people that aren't very good at maths (me lah). I'm not saying that NAFA is bad, but the school was the stepping stone to where I am. And the result of this 3 years of my life, I have finally found what I want to do.

The funny thing is that I graduated with a GPA average score of 2.68 which was considered pretty bad according to polytechnic's standard. But, I got in — I got into a government university that offers design programs!

If I were to see this from another perspective, it's mind boggling. God is indeed good all the time! Though I cannot see His hand move but I know that He has been working on all the nitty gritty details in my life all along. This year would be my turning point and I won't say that I have reached the top yet, but I'll do my best and leave the rest to God. The biggest challenge right now is up ahead and I do hope I am ready for it.

Our lives are streams flowing into the same river towards whatever heaven lies in the mist beyond the falls. Find the joy in your life.

 Just watched this movie and it's really touching. Man, I guess I would also do the same. I'll write a bucket list before I kick the bucket! But, it ain't that all great to hear the amount of time you have left, right?

Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?

Psalm 69:13-15 NIV

But I pray to you, Lord , in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation.  Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters.  Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me.